Divorce & Separation – Know What You Want and When

If you are going through a divorce or separation, there is a high chance that you are going through a lot of change, emotional upheaval and potentially stress which can make it difficult to focus on the negotiation process or proceedings both in parenting and property related matters.

Separation with all that it entails at the start – one or both partners moving out of the house, juggling child care and child access, increasing or reducing work hours, potential relocation and the like, can lead to a less than clear focus on day to day matters and preparing for a divorce settlement.

While difficult, try and build a clear picture of what you ideally want the result of the divorce proceedings to look like.

Using a professional divorce or family lawyer will help you to sort through the potential options as well as help you to manage your expectations of the process, timing, cost and realistic outcomes.

This article looks at some of the best ways to navigate your way through a separation or divorce and how to try and reach your desired outcome in the final settlement.

Use Your Divorce Lawyers Experience and Knowledge of Legal Precedent

Your first port of call with trying to plan what you would like to see from divorce proceedings is to engage a reputable divorce lawyer and to use their skills and proven expertise in the area.

Because family law is such a niche area of law, be sure to engage a family law firm that has direct and/or specialist experience in handling divorce matters and will be able to gauge, realign and manage your expectations.

What may seem perfectly reasonable to you may not be attainable and, inversely if your requirements are not sufficient, your divorce lawyer should again help steer you back on to more equitable outcomes.

Know What You Want but be Prepared to Discuss Different Options for Settlement 

If your divorce lawyer feels that you have undersold your continued financial or parental needs, he or she should discuss these concerns with you.

Despite the legal industry at times having a bad reputation, no family law team should relish or encourage chasing unreasonable or unfair outcomes but will have your best interests at the forefront at all times.

Always try and tap into your own humanity – seek what you believe to be correct without allowing bitterness to drive your motives.

Look to the Future – Don’t Delay

As discussed elsewhere on this site, separation and divorce may well have an impact on your emotional and mental wellbeing.

While in the midst of a separation it is understandable that many people want to bury their head in the sand and shut down from the decision making process – but negative procrastination is rife and can have negative emotional and financial consequences both in parenting and property related matters.

Mitigate any inability to make decisions by working with your divorce team who will help you broadly calendarise timelines during the process.

This will keep your broad goals aligned and help plan when your time may be needed and or decisions need to be made.

Your divorce team will also be able to refer you to external professional support to help you through it all, if required.


While separation and divorce are nothing like a business or a work environment, the basic principles of S.M.A.R.T thinking are very applicable: –

S – be Specific. Write down what you would like the outcome to be and continue to discuss, revisit and perhaps amend your goals with your lawyer throughout the process.

M – Measure and consider – what ideal financial outcome you want, where your bottom line is, and what other outcomes you would be able to live with.

A – Aim for what is genuinely attainable based on the legal advice you have received.

R – be Realistic, stay focused, and be open minded to alternative options for settlement.

T – Discuss and set a Timeframe with your lawyer as to when you would like to see all matters closed and work toward that task by task.

If you are going through a separation or divorce and require legal advice and assistance, please contact the team at

Damien Greer Lawyers on 07 3837 5500 or at enquires@damiengreer.com.au to discuss the best way forward. As an experienced family law firm, we can help you start, finalise and/or negotiate your way through divorce proceedings and all family law related matters.